Anger is the aftereffect of Trauma

The long awaited happiness will eventually come, often with a sharp ephemeral pain....

The Buoyant Force of Friendship

The drowning girl has two choices, either she flutters her limbs and fights to live or may embrace the fate, praise the victory of the gravity, hugging the deepest depths and kiss the death. But the girl knows how to swim but she still lets the gravity win. This curious head has no desire to explore the beauty residing up on the surface of the ocean. The only desire left is to touch the deepest shell, to uncover it and find the pearl of the truth. She knows that once she reaches her destination, the truth will engulf her and then there is no coming back. Whatever it takes but the pain is intense and she must find the truth, she knows nothing else but she only knows that the hell of death can’t be worse than the hell of life.
But there is one force which she cannot control. It’s the buoyant force of friendship which breaks the basic laws of physics, bringing the densest head to the surface. Perhaps the strongest force, it’s still nothing but just a silent feeling of nearness which unknowingly becomes a source to vent out all the pains, making the densest head the lightest of all, without any loss of mass. The freedom is inexplicable. And she breaks the sphere of sadness, which she only has woven once. The area around her lips takes the convex folds and she smiled at her own wingless flight.

A Desire to Ask

Whenever you make any relationship you discover something about yourself. I have learned that there are some people who can never get love. Who can never experience the so called affection in their life….. People say that when you have love in your life then you tend to become happy. They say that love relation is the most wondrous relationship one makes in their entire life. They say that the two person who are in love with each other desires to spend days and night with each other.
If all this is true then, why I am so unhappy. The air around me has become even sadder than before, cutting my nerves all day long. I don't know much about the feeling called ' love'. I wanted to know. I wanted to smile freely and truly. I wanted to say. I wanted to be just happy. I wanted to love. Love came. Is this is the same love, I heard of? Should I suppose to become happy? He says that he loves me. I too believed that he was the only person who has actually loved me....Who has actually cared for me and wanted me. But if then, why this state of relationship lacks affection…. He say every day that he loves me but still it doesn't make any difference. If the old saying that love brings happiness is true than why I haven't experienced this change in my life… Why I am still sad, still weepy, still alone......Why I am still subdued and undemanding...Why I still feel that there is no one who really loves me....Why tears won't stop....Why there's no one to whom I can Ask…

On the death of my best friend

I don't know how I should feel on looking at the birth of my love and death of my only friend. How should I feel on the first breath of my love and the last moments of my friend's life?
I don't know how I should punish myself for killing my only best friend. He was the only person in this whole world to whom I was able to make demands and get them fulfilled. Whose tender touch of hands under my wet eyes used to sweep my tears? My only support in the moments of grief. The only source of solace. The only person who has ever cared for me. The only person who I believe have loved me.

I can no more lie to myself. I am sad. But my pain is certainly nothing compared to the pain this person who is lying on my lap is bearing. I can never comprehend the pain he is facing, on simultaneously taking birth and dying.

I can never love my love because I have always loved my friend.

The other side of the door

Should I be grateful to have silent beauty around me?
But then why does a vainful smile emerge at my lips whenever I open my eyelids and roll up my iris to see the white sky?
Why does the touch of the brown earth beneath my foot has become so hard?
Why is the sun lying tall?
Why it rained no more? Why has the rainbow refused to give appearance?
Why has the little bird become a dead, hard, discolored, metallic piece?
Why don't the flowers smell?
Why doesn't the grass grow anymore?
Why has the motion lost its existence?
Why the fluid drips through my eyes on looking at the shades of milky green around me? Why has the universe taken a shape of four closed walls? Is it shrinking? Am I the only living being left on the earth?
Should I stand up and find the parallel world at the other side of door?

But I myself closed this door once. I remember how it used to look.

I remember how I got hurt whenever I tried to smile.
How I got betrayed whenever I tried to trust.
How I became blind whenever I tried to see beauty.
How I became handicap whenever I tried to touch happiness.
How my hands got nailed whenever I tried to hold love.
How I got burned whenever I tried to get the warmth of affection.
How the last penny was stolen whenever I felt hungry.
How I was hanged whenever I became thirsty.
How I was buried whenever I wished freedom.
How I was stabbed to death whenever I tried to live.
How Death never came.

I shall never open the door again and shall remain at this side of the door.

Dead Kiss

There are certain moments in your life when things around you become stagnant. The atmosphere, the falling droplets of rain become stagnant, the blowing winds become stagnant. When you stop hearing chirping of birds and rattling of metal around you. When voices become unmeaningful, when the music you hear fades out silently at your earsteps. When the color around you looses attention, when your eyes left capable of seeing only shades of white, the eyes wide open and refuses to shy.
When lips refuse to allow the love to come inside, the kiss dies out at your lips. It becomes the Dead Kiss.
And there's nothing more to say. It witnesses a simple synchronicity of withdrawn love and a dry smile, the smile again refuses to fade.